Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Das Bier


"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.'"
-Jack Handy

20 Feb 2008
Beer: Companhia Cervejaria Brahma, Brahma Bier
Location: Ted Sergison Beer Supply
Price: Free
Grade: 1.3

2.5” head, light and frothy, similar to a mass-produced beer head. Looks of slightly amber-colored piss, a good bit of bubble and carbonation. No flavor, but lots of bubbles to tingle on the tongue. Super thin, watery, goes down easy but not an enjoyable sip. Could be used for the sake of drinking beer- primarily to get drunk, Brazilian-style. Fizzy feel and that’s about it. Tried to taste something, but not much at all. Maybe this is what liquid hay tastes like. Beer for horses? But… for humans?

20 Feb 2008
Beer: Heineken Nederland B.V., Heineken Premium Light Lager
Location: Local PR Bodega
Price: Gratis, courtesy Cohen Inc.
Grade: 1.2

Tastes like piss, looks like piss, pours like piss. Though a much more refined beer than Mickey’s, O’Douls and Colt 45. Has some fizz, some carbonation, and maybe a spritzy taste of chewed pine needles. 1cm head, very pale golden color, goes down easy, but not the enjoyable-easy. Stale hop taste, watery, somewhat like sitting water smell. Could be better used to wash off driveways, pollute home gardens and/or teach children what not to drink.

28 Feb 2008
Beer: Pabst Blue Ribbon
Location: Whole Foods, Bowery NYC
Price: 6.99/12pk
Grade: 3

Gets the job done. Better than Coors for mass-drinking consumption.

3 March 2008
Beer: Bavaria
Location: Fine Fare
Price: $8.99/12pk 8 oz.
Grade: 4.5

Very subtle hops and barley, quite faint. A slight acrid smell, like honey-kissed piss. Mellow creaminess, flat taste and little lingering flavor. A tad more potent than Heineken, with a light body throughout. Little sweetness at the end, some maltyness. An ok pilsner, but not a knockout. Sort of rolls on the tongue and slides off at the end.

5 March 2008
Beer: Hoegaarden
Location: Ryan’s Irish Pub, Draught
Price: $6/Pint
Grade: 6.4

Lemon hints, complex, hated or loved by many.

5 March 2008
Beer: Guinness
Location: Ryan’s Irish Pub, Draught
Price $5/Pint
Grade: 6.2

Thick, porter-like and delicious. Like a creamy blissful mouth plop.

5 March 2008
Beer: Stella Artois
Location: Ryan’s Irish Pub, Draught
Price: $5/Pint
Grade: 6

Not bad, not great. Good session beer, but who knows how much I paid for it. Because I know I didn’t.

6 March 2008
Beer: Rogue American Amber Ale
Location: Whole Foods, Bowery NYC
Price: $10.99/6pk
Grade: 7.3

Pumpkin, spices, complex, bitters, delight, satisfaction. Punchy hops, tender malt, Sweet nectar, some toasty roasted nuttiness, hearty medium body. Reddish-brown look.

27 March 2008
Beer: Troegenator Doublebock
Location: New Beer Distribution, Chrystie St NYC
Price: $11/6pk
Grade: 6.9

Very crispy and clear rich amber red color, little head, very precise taste. Good maltiness, hoppy, lingers but not overpowering. Tastes of redwood, slight burnt taste, meat, leather, caramel. Has a nice creaminess to it with a medium body. Sort of like a syrup, but not too sweet. Nice and enjoyable, but not an all-time favorite.

8 April 2008
Beer: Magic Hat Roxy Rolles
Location: Whole Foods, Bowery NYC
Price: $9/6pk
Grade: 6.8

Punchy fizzy, vibrant red-orange hue with a hoppy ale taste. Tastes of apple, caramel, Good bitters with a crisp, clean finish. Hints of cedar and cinnamon, not too much creaminess or malts. More a spicy red ale with a dose of acidity thrown in; medium-body. Sour bitterness in the end that sits on the tongue, enjoyable or not, it gives the beer some life. Bits of grapefruit seem to be somewhere in this guy, at least in the tingle.