Sunday, July 26, 2009

Aboard






That afternoon as the sea breeze swept through her hair and the flicks of salty water sprayed her face, Wendy felt completely in place. She had bought a one-way ticket to Glasgow by way of Saltcoats. She made sure to pack some crackers for the trip and a few chocolates purchased from the local general store. This time she carried only one bag and an address book filled with a few scribbles. The outside was worn so much that even the patina had lost its sheen, covered by a layer of smudged grime.

Her third-class ticket placed her at the bottom of the vessel. Her berth had an olive green blanket made from low-end wool, which luckily wicked away sweat faster than it did water. Yet the smell of pungent odors wafted through her chamber’s port no matter the hour, nullifying the use of taking showers when warm, clean water was available. Even the scuttlebutt down the hall lacked a feeling of cleanliness and smelled of salinity and mildew.

This trip was meant to be a getaway – a new start. Even though her friends and family had attempted to persuade her to stay and try again or give it another year – nothing could stop her from leaving. The Post Office eventually stopped delivering letters to her home after her mailbox filled up with pleas and notes. She had decided that she no longer wished to read anything and everything so she had Jack axe the post off and burn the rest.

“No, Jack. Over there, burn it over there,” she had said to him 5 weeks earlier.

The rest of the passengers on board could be seen playing cards, chess and checkers on the deck. There was a couple over on the starboard side giggling away as they played Bryncir, spilling their cheap bottle of gin all around themselves. The man had a peculiar look to his face – one of those miens that you just can’t forget no matter how hard you try. It was a lasting look, which made it a peculiar look and also an ugly look. Every now and then when his companion wasn’t looking at him, he’d turn his head ever so briskly to catch a glimpse of an older dame sitting to his left.

He was probably of about fifty years of age yet his companion seemed to be in her early thirties. Sitting beside the pair were a trio of lads all dressed impeccably and wearing top hats. Each of them had their own, individual yet meek look – with the short, fat one taking the cake. He looked like a pug-nosed, piney prick. But his apathetic energy was what kept him looking more meek than a cheek.

The tall fellow looked as though his name should be Gideon or Ichabod. His light chestnut brown hair was as fine as a baby’s, which caused him great trouble when he took his hat off. He wore a pair of spectacles that were elongated octagons, framed by thin copper wires that were beginning to tarnish. During the conversation between the older man and his companion, Gideon – or Ichabod – would often whisper into the fat one’s ear.

Their friend, the third fellow, wore a shortened top hat with a 3-inch wide, satin red puggaree wrapped around the torso of the hat. On the left-hand side near the front of the brim he kept a bright yellow Buttercup that looked as though it had been plucked that morning. His garments were a bit more refined than his two partners, as his double-breasted coat exhibited brass buttons instead of steel. He had a scepter of some sort also, which in a way challenged the older man next to them in a passive-aggressive manner.

Besides looking over his shoulder every now and then to look at the dame, the older man would also clear his throat and look sternly at the spectacled-fellow every time the spectacled-fellow tapped his scepter on the deck. The fat, short one and the tall one never batted an eye throughout this series of exchanges.

For the first night’s dinner Wendy made sure to find a seat for herself away from the rest of foul-smelling, disease-infested passengers on her deck. She was very proud of her good hygiene so she preferred to converse with them only when it suited her needs. Earlier in the afternoon when the sun was just right on the top deck, she had managed to befriend a young lad who looked to be about her age. He had told her his name was “Peter,” but a tag on his luggage had read “Richard.” Though confused, she carried on the rest of the conversation referring to him as Peter, yet it took some effort for her to avoid blurting out what she assumed was his real name.

However, around dinnertime she had dropped her standards, if only momentarily, in search of finding this said “Peter.” After filling her plate up she roamed around the eating area for a good twenty minutes before grudgingly taking a seat near the exit. As she sat there spading at her plate with tense anger, a young man came up from behind and gave her a tap.

“Excuse me Madame, might anyone be seating beside you tonight?” he asked.

Wendy turned around with a gust of energy hoping it’d be her mysterious “Peter.”

“Oh my,” she let out.

“Well hello.”

Standing before her was a young man in a black three-piece suit and the most flawless smile she had ever seen. His hair was slicked back and combed to the side with a slight curl at the front. She could tell he took care of his body by the way the creased trousers streamlined down his thighs towards his calves and broke right at the crown of his polished black Derbies. His skin looked soft and delectable, even though she could only see his hands and face from where she was situated.

“Lance,” he said, extending his hand.

“And what might your name be Madame?”

Flustered by his imposing aura, Wendy almost gushed out the word “Peter,” but luckily she had to finish the bite she was chewing. Covering her mouth so as not to seem rude or un-ladylike, Wendy took a few more seconds to finish up.

“My name is Wendy,” she said with a bit of embarrassment.

“Take any seat you’d like - I could use the fine company.”

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Frontage



I

“There are folks on this land that will strip you of your soul,” he said.

“Men come here searching for something and they find nothing. Not one thing.”

“So what is the point of looking if there is nothing or not one thing to find?” Ellis asked.

The grizzled man rocked back in his chair and narrowed his eyes as if a light had just come in through the window. His forearm gradually slid off the arm of the chair and planted itself vertically on his thigh. His callous palm, controlled by his blistered fingers pinched into his frayed and threadbare denim.

“Son I could tell you but it isn’t going to do you any good,” he said. “I tried telling Graham that a few years back and he went out anyway. Last thing I heard he was shot in the back by a few Dillinger Boys who wanted nothing more than his watch that day. It wasn’t even that nice of a watch I recall – some Moviendo brand or something like that. It had no place with him at least.”

Graham was his brother. He was about 3 or 4 years older – the oldest of the three. He was a smoker also – and a complete burnout. He had spent the last 8 or so years fucking Ellis’ mistress while Ellis picked tobacco in the field. Neither gave two shits about it because Ellis had been sleeping with Graham’s best friend’s sister, Alice. She opened her legs just as fast as Ellis could shoot down about a dozen ducks in the field. He was a master skeet shooter – the best in the county.

In town the locals were flocking to see John David, a musician turned magician from the next town over. Graham had actually fucked his wife too for a period of time – so routinely that she ended up leaving John David for Graham. Unfortunately for her, Graham had left town by the time she showed up on his doorstep.

When John David found out about it he shot her twice in each thigh. It’s said that he left her to die with a note nailed into her cervix that read, “Crucify me now or forever hold your peace.” The local morgue denies this wholly, up until this day.

II

In the morning Ellis woke up and put together his satchel for class. He had stolen a flask from his uncle the last time he visited Kindersley, which he recently had been carrying religiously. The Bible in his drawer remained in his drawer, covered up by a few pieces of fish bones he had picked clean after the last smokeout. His laziness was his greatest downfall – even his britches had more holes in them than John David could fabricate in a show. Patchwork seemed to be far from his forte also. He preferred to take shits on the back porch instead of the outhouse because the flies would come swarm about his stockpile. Though his brother detested it, Ellis would often shoot the 14-gauge at the flies hoping to scrap up some shit in the process.

“Ellis get in the goddamn wagon,” he said. “Hurry up dammit!”

Without a glance his hands reached for the satchel but knocked over the pitcher of fresh water. The smashing sound of glass and the cascading splash of the water caused the blood to run out of his face. Ignoring the shards of glass littered across the floor, Sotheby lapped up the water as if she hadn’t had a drink in days.

“Piss off you twat!” Ellis shrieked. “Before he sees what I’ve done!”

“What was that sound Ellis?” shouted a voice.

“What’d you do this time boy?”

His eyes darted to the doorway. All he could see was the next room – nothing else. As he let out an exhale, he left it up to his faith and decided to run out the back door instead.

As he leaped over the three or floor steps leading down from the veranda, he was greeted by the blinding sun that had been blocked out by drapes that morning. He squinted and lost his footing before he ever had it. Dust kicked up around his boots as his elbow made contact with the warm, chalky dirt. At that time of the year the prickly parts of the plants that grew around their house blew all over the place like little gumballs with spikes. They were a dark umber brown with holes that reminded him of the damage he had done to a deer last month. Depending on how long ago they had detached from the plant, some were hard as an apple while others were as supple as a buttocks.

Sotheby came running out the door and began licking Ellis on the face. Her tongue was bleeding from lapping the water inside as evidenced on his shirt. While he tried to fight her off she kept licking and lapping without any desire to cease.

“Just stop! Stop right now girl!” Ellis demanded.

She still kept going at it as if licking his shirt would do him any good. By then the blood had stained through the linen and onto his skin. The warm sun made sure to dry it fast and cause the blood to stick to his skin.

Just then a voice came from the house that sounded both happy and sad at the same time. Ellis couldn’t hear properly but assumed he had heard “dead” and “come” in the same sentence.

“Come on girl,” he said. “Let’s get back home. He’s calling me back.”

III

At the back doorstep Alice was standing with an envelope in her hand. She had a smile on her face, which she wiped just as soon as Ellis came back.

“Hello Ellis,” she said.

“Hello,” he responded.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you so… dirty.”

“Well, yes,” he said. “But there’s a reason why I’m so—“

“No need to explain to me,” she said. “But I have something for you.”

She extended her hand and handed him the envelope. It was a light rose color of good stock and had ample weight.

“Thank you,” he said.

In the back the maid could be seen picking up the shards of glass and wiping the floor.

“Oh don’t worry about that Killam! I’ll get around to that –“

“Soon enough?” Killam asked. “Excuse me sir, but bull-friggin’-shit.”

Diverting his eyes back to Alice, Ellis smiled then looked away.

“Sorry you had to experience all this Alice,” he said.

“Usually I’m not such a tardy and uncouth individual,” he added.

“Please, Ellis. Don’t be sorry about it, just take the envelope and I’ll just…”

“Come over here boy and tell me what the hell this crap is!” demanded a voice from inside.

It was him. Ellis had assumed he wouldn’t see or hear it but Killam must not have cleaned it up fast enough.

“Don’t make me ask you twice!” he said again from inside.

Ellis looked to Alice again and expressed his sorrow through the sappy look in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he mouthed and walked off with the letter.

“Ellis, wait!” Alice said as she grabbed his bloodied arm.

“Open it for me, please,” she said.

“It would mean a lot to me.”

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Translation

Sundries of folks lined up along the beach. They were playing “Red Rover” today – a game I wholeheartedly disdained. It was a game of fools and idiots, which basically means the same thing, but little would they know that. People would shout and cry and laugh, swing their arms high and low and back and forth – the whole process made me sick to the stomach. On the side, Teddy was grilling some franks and squirting the grill with lighter fluid every now and then to produce some ersatz flames to impress girls. He always enjoyed doing that, but only when around really dumb blondes. When it was just us guys he’d usually just blabber about downing beers or how much he wanted to go sailing every weekend.

She was sitting on the beach that day all by herself. Her lotion polished legs and plaid-patterned two-piece made me wriggle from a distance. That asshole of guy kept coming over and talking to her while she read her magazines and soaked up rays under the sun. God I love the way those glasses complemented her face. The way the sun glimmered off her thighs as her feet tucked into the crystalline sand. She’d smile every now and then watching the dingbats flounder about in the waves. I could only faintly make out her laugh but those few notes that hit my eardrums made me grin like a goon.

That day the entire littoral of sun worshipping lackeys danced about or splashed in the salty waves of the sea. A few had been smart enough to bring along a handful of longnecks to remain entertained and loosened up. Some barbeque was being prepared farther down the coast but I couldn’t make out whether it was worth the walk over or not. I had downed a couple of drumsticks before that had been grilled by one of our pals. The problem I had with all the “summer” food was that it always seemed to give me indigestion. Not in the horribly repugnant manner, but rather in the “Fuck, this can’t be good before splashing in the waves” kind of way.

Probably every 30 minutes or so I’d make my way back to the snack bar to grab another drink or chat with the girl who worked at the counter. She had freckles on her face and a smile like no one else. Now I accept that no one has the same outline of freckles on their face but it was her smile that really stood out. Some people look for pearly whites or teeth that are aligned in the most pristine formation more fastened together than a proper phalanx or whatever, but goddamn she had a flawless simper of a goddess! I mean I couldn’t stop staring at her as I fumbled for the change in my pocket!

By the time I returned to my spot she had left to go run along the jetty. The jutting rocks made me worry, but she seemed so careless around them – nothing could stop her from having the fun she deserved that day. As the waves undulated their way into the porous formation of stones along the jetty, she danced across it with such grace and such indescribable sultriness. I couldn’t tell if it was the way she moved, the composure she held or the confidence she radiated but it was probably the combination of each element that made me forget to pay the girl at the counter. Aimlessly feeling for the Styrofoam cup sitting on the counter, I knocked over the napkin holder onto her side that caused me to cut my attention off – if only for a few seconds.

“Shit! I’m so, so sorry” I told her. “I wasn’t paying attention because--”

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” she told me. “Go enjoy yourself in the sun. Maybe I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, later,” I said. “Naturally.”

Sipping my drink through the straw and watching her gambol back towards her spot kept me more than satisfied for the moment. I could’ve sat under that umbrella all day and would have been delighted beyond all means. It wasn’t until about an hour later that she had decided to walk over to the snack bar to buy whatever it was that she had in mind. I quickly pushed myself with two hands off my patch of beach and kicked a cloud up as I burst towards her direction. Even her strides made me melt inside as I did my best to cover up the fact I was following her to the snack bar. I brushed my hair with my right palm and slicked back the coif of hair I had going on. I wanted to look relaxed but not too prepared – this was one of those make it or break it moments, the kind of shit you wait for all your life.

“Hey, I saw you on the jetty just over--” I stammered out.

“Yeah I noticed that,” she said to me. “It’s kinda hard to hide it when you’re…”

“Oh, yeah,” I said. “Maybe I’m not too good at--”

“Standing in line?” she said.

Fuck. I had managed to walk backwards into the guy in front of me while attempting some sort of seductive conversation. Fuck I’m an idiot.

“Yeah,” I said dumbly nodding. “Yeah.”

By now the awkwardness had hit a new level as I attempted to brush off the event that just happened 5 seconds ago. Her eyes wandered off to the side while I struggled to find some sort of suave excuse or cutesy cover-up for the foolish blunder I had just committed.

“So, uh, you come to the beach often?” I leaked out.

She giggled in a soft yet sensual way. “Yeah I do, actually. When I can make it out here.”

Oh you don’t live out here?

“No, actually,” she said with such sultry ease. “I usually am pretty busy during the week.”

“Doing…?”

“You’re very direct aren’t you? Sort of a ‘know-what-you-want’ kind of guy?”

“Is that what I come off as? Am I really so…”

“Straight to the point? Yes – you are.”

These quick trades of thought made me think for a second. “Is this really going the way that it is right now? Am I getting my ass handed to me by the girl that I actually have a crush for?”

“Sorry, uh, I didn’t mean to keep you from your most enjoyable and necessary snack bar purchase today” I said. “You seem like the kind of girl that really is set on getting what—“

“You really think that?” she asked me. “Am I that easy to pigeonhole and package?

“No! No!” I said. “I wasn’t trying to say anything about your character, habits or even your mode of getting to—“

“You should really give me more of a chance,” she said. “Do you know what it’s like to be stared at from a distance as you run along the jetty in a two-piece? My God it’s exhilarating because you know people are watching but they just can’t touch you or do anything. It’s such a rush!”

The blood kicked its way into my head as I tried to comprehend what she had just said. Was I just another one of those snack bar douche bags? Maybe just another beach boy that had a semi-good tan and a reasonable head on my shoulders? I couldn’t really get to the gist of it because I remained such an outsider. She knew what she was doing and I had been made the fool of it all.

“See ya later,” she said to me as she grabbed her drink and left.

I looked back to the counter girl with the beautiful smile and combination of freckles.

“Hey I’m sorry for trying to—“

“Listen man, no worries. I work at a snack bar on the beach - I’m used to it. You should be too,” she said. “So do me a favor and go after that one – she seems really worth it.”

“You think so?” I asked in a pseudo-quizzical way.

“Yeah of course,” she said.

“You’re right. She is worth it,” I said. “Thanks for all the help – you’ve been great.”

“Never a problem.”

As I stumbled my way back through the excessively trodden sand, she kept looking back at me with the most confusing smile-smirk combination I had ever seen. She was beyond unique – she was even beyond beautiful. I wanted to know more about her, but before I knew it a crowd of figures, frames and forms came swooping in front of me. Some boom box was playing vociferous static as a herd migrated toward the beach - cutting me off from what really mattered.

My head bobbed up as I jumped a few times to see if she was still there. Every now and then I could make out what I assumed was a glimpse of her through the bodies that past by in front of me. By the time they had moved on she was luckily still there. Still standing there with drink in hand but now giving me this sort of puzzled look. I couldn’t tell what it was or what it meant, but I continued to walk in her direction. I stumbled upon a few totes here and there and then on someone’s elbow as it lay splayed out off their towel and into the undefined path for mobilization.

As I finally neared her she said something I couldn’t make out over the encompassing mix of sounds. But her expression was enough to win me over. As I embraced her in my arms, that day became complete beyond my wildest intentions. The sand no longer bothered me as it singed into my feet, my confusion from earlier no longer bothered me as it had so strongly done so, and my smile lit up as genuine as it had ever been before - then more. This was what made me happy and as radiant as the sun that shone above us. This was what made the summer so worth it and the day that led up to it so necessary. I knew then that life had its gifts and presents that come in time. All it takes to experience them is a bit of patience and a whole lot of understanding. But with those two, the accomplishments in life become that more tangible and less so a fantasy.

That day as I rolled in the sand and watched her read her magazine I felt nothing but pure, unadulterated bliss. It was what made life worth it and the beach so rousing. Yeah there were tons of girls all around on the strand but none had captured me like the girl who stood alone in all of her unique aspects. So what for freckles and a perfect smile – this girl had more than that and then more. Summer itself wasn’t enough to flatter this one – not at all. She deserved every ounce of the day and then some. The struggle for me was to find a way to say ‘Hello’ to the snack bar girl after that and make it seem sincere. I had been washed away and taken in by the waves that day.

After calling out all the fools who had been playing “Red Rover” before, I had actually broken through and attained more than just another side of things. Instead, I was now facing what had been longed for before yet never actually satisfied. Life, from then on, became even more worth it and meaningful. “So much for giving up on ideas that never materialize,” I said to myself. “You never know when life may go your way.”

As I settled myself back on to my terry cloth cushion, my head lowered down on to my scrunched up t-shirt. I placed my hands between the two and stretched out, first my arms and then my legs. The sun continued to shine down in its palliative manner even though it was 90ยบ to everyone else. The warmth of it all was embraced instead of the problems that surrounded me at that moment. Maybe I’d pick up a nice semi-tan that day or even a few splotches of rosy sunburn, but neither really mattered to me. I was in a state of happiness that was beyond words, beyond any saying or phrase or textbook mantra. “These are the kind of days you can’t plan for,” I said, still looking up to the dazzling sky. “Thank you, really. For everything.”

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Recount


“Solomon, come over here dear friend,” he said. “I want you to see this.”

With cautious steps Solomon made sure to walk along the lines so as not to disturb the boards that creaked with even the slightest pressure. When he was younger he had nightmares of his bedroom floorboards opening up and swallowing him whole. His imagination had let him be taken in by the bubbling, glaucous goop that existed beneath his floorboards and within his head. It was toxic to him – all of it.

“Dear friend, I fear that the request you have given me cannot be fulfilled,” Solomon said. “I forgot to eat lunch just this past hour.”

“Mother always told me you were a picky eater, Solomon. You should work on that I tell you. Start with the blinis if any are left over – Mumsie said they were divine.”

Solomon gradually nodded his head but his eyes remained transfixed on tangent with the voice in the chair. He turned around, walked in a hurried manner and forgot completely about the floorboards. By the time he had reached the salver on the dining room table, he realized that his dear friend had played quite the trick on him.

“Mumsie didn’t bring us blinis!” he mewled. “All that is left is that dreadful champagne and those silly little pearls of onyx salinity!”

“Oh my, little Solomon,” said the voice sitting in the chair. “You foolish little twit – I must’ve eaten the last bunch. Apologies I do say, apologies.”

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Solitaire



What are burnt ashes and cracked wood,
But pieces sitting on the ground.
Darkened and chalky they will sit,
Soaking water, dew or the rain.

It is all the same they will say,
It is just a matter of words.
Semantics will only bother,
Forget meaning and thought for once.

These are not to be worried for,
Let them sit and be carried on.
Wind blows on like the life we live,
Use it to your will and your needs.

To fight what is burnt takes much more,
You can’t create with just one tool.
You’ll need far more than that my friend,
Listen but do not burn so soon.

Give it time and let it sit slow,
New light comes with every day.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Churl






“We are born with a scream; we come into life with a scream, and maybe love is a mosquito net between the fear of living and the fear of death.”
- F.B.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Tumefaction





E.C.C.
III I IX

For everything there is a season,
and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones,
and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
What gain has the worker from his toil?


Time for dinner.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Equinoctial






MUSIC
By Our Generation

Gotta get-get, gotta get-get
Gotta get-get, gotta g-g-g-get-get-get, get-get

Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get

Boom boom boom, now
Boom boom boom, now
Boom boom pow
Boom boom

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Jardiniere





I can hear the raindrops but they don’t bother me. I can feel the sprinkles as they soak into my sweater. They come yet I have no umbrella to stop them. A puddle sits in the middle of the road. I step in it. The water soaks into the leather of my sole then leads into the even softer leather above it. My laces can’t protect me no matter how tight I tie them. My woolen sock cannot wick and my skin surely cannot protect the coldness that is to hit it. My toes curl; the soggy wool squishes between my toes. It’s raining outside and I just stepped into a puddle. Could it have been avoided? Could I have walked in front of the car instead? I can imagine the sight of a shoe – or even two – flying through the air only to land on the sidewalk. A kid might pick it up or maybe a dog might sniff it. Good thing I put some deodorant on this morning. Otherwise, all of this could’ve turned quite afoul. Smelly rain, oh smelly rain – who has won this silly game?

Friday, May 15, 2009

Lee Waves






Waves

Speak softly and carry a big stick,
Once said a dear friend, err, I mean dick.
They offered kool-aid and punch for all,
Tropical and such, I do recall.

Bastions of whores scattered the fine scene,
Mingling and mangling seemed so routine,
Mud turned to blood and blood to dark foam,
A mansion cum palace de la holm.

Piglets strapped abound, tramped all about,
Spurts of stupidity came by flout.
An inkling seemed terribly tempting,
The drupe was already consenting,
Flings and dings and bangs go all abound,
Crashing and booming, thuds on the ground.

It awoke in the hours of bright,
Curled in acts that came with hindsight.
Champagne and caviar was in need,
Never this seemed a merited deed.

Whispers to vespers bring shouts to screams,
Cloudy confusion brings our worst dreams.
Slowly, surely, sun come to me here,
This shit blows my mind, whirs in my ear.

It happened without a single thought,
Tempted I ask, or merely store bought.
Questions, I say questions are with me,
I didn’t mean, I mean no, yes, please.